


You Won't Be Alone

by alwaysgocrazy



Category: Stitchers (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt, Loss, Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-19 02:36:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4729550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysgocrazy/pseuds/alwaysgocrazy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Rating for the sex scene and future violence. Warnings may change depending on how I feel about my writing. As of right now, this piece is okay for high school and up.*</p><p>It's mid-1970, just after the second draft for the Vietnam War. When the lottery numbers are announced, Kirsten can't handle it. It's too heartbreaking. Now, she's got to make the most of the time she's got with the one she loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fabulous readers! I have big plans for this (I just hope I end up completing it before I forget the whole idea).
> 
> I've put a decent amount of research into this because I wanted things to be correct with the draft numbers and birthdays aligning.
> 
> If you are curious, Cameron's birthday is May 25, Linus is September 27, and Fisher is July 14. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

It was a terrifying time for everyone in the Stitchers Program. Everyone huddled around the radio, listening for the draft numbers to be announced. Each man in the room listened for their birthdate.

It was December 1, 1969, the first draft for the war. The program hadn’t been around for long, but it was long enough for it to be efficient and worth funding. The whole system wasn’t perfect, but technology wasn’t super advanced. They had top of the line things that the outside world may never have access to.

The first birthdate was finally drawn. September 14. Linus sighed heavily. “Two weeks early, two weeks.” He had a hand over his chest, but that was just the first date. His luck didn’t last very long.

“Number 233, September 27.”

His face dropped. It was passed the halfway mark, but it was far from the end. He relaxed back in his chair and rubbed his face.

Fisher’s birthday came next. His number was 331, unlikely to get picked. If Maggie and Les Turner hadn’t forced him to stay, he would have voluntarily enlisted. He was a police officer; the army couldn’t be _that_ much worse.

Cameron’s birthday was last to be called. He was given 361, close to the very end.

As soon as everything was announced, it was back to business. There was a sample waiting to be stitched into.

***

The next few months went smoothly. The program ran its normal course. Kirsten was stitching into a new person every week and crimes were being solved more and more efficiently.

Then June rolled around. Another draft was to be announced in July.

The month of June couldn’t have gone by faster. Everyone in the lab gathered around the television on July 1, 1970, and waited for numbers to be announced.

“Number 001, July 9,” said the announcer. Fisher sighed heavily and looked over to Linus and said: “Five days. I win.”

Linus gave him a dirty look before rolling his eyes.

Everyone was surprised a few moments later.

“Number 026, May 25.”

Everyone’s eyes were on Cameron. Nobody said anything; Cameron barely processed the fact that his birthday was called so early. Camille wrapped her arms around him from behind. “It’s going to be okay. You’re not going to have to go. We’ll find a way,” she said softly.

Kirsten walked out of the room, shocking the crowd. She walked into the small locker room and locked herself in one of the changing stalls. She sunk down to the ground and began to cry. She was going to lose Cameron. She was going to lose her best friend, her teacher, her everything. She wasn’t sure how she would make it.

She didn’t know how long she had been in there, but it must’ve been long enough for the draft drawing to conclude and everyone to disperse. There was a soft knock on door. “Kirsten?” It was Cameron.

Kirsten sniffled softly and stood up. She looked in the mirror to make sure she looked decent. She didn’t. She looked like she had been sobbing. She slowly opened the door. He was just standing there with a sad smile, feeling like the whole thing was his fault somehow. “Can I come in?” he asked softly.

Kirsten nodded and opened the door completely. The moment he was in she locked the door and hugged him. “You can’t leave, Cameron…” she mumbled into his shirt.

He lowered them to the ground and held Kirsten tightly in his arms. “We don’t know if I’ll be called in. Maybe there’s something Maggie can pull off. Maybe my number won’t get called at all.”

Kirsten scoffed. “They went all the way up to 195 the last draft! You don’t think number 26 will get summoned?” She rolled her eyes. “The only thing you have going for you is your heart problem from when you were ten. I don’t think that’s going to cut it.”

Cameron fingered through her hair gently. “You never know, Stretch. You don’t know unless you try.” He kissed the top of her head. “It’s going to be alright. You handle things without me for a bit. You’re strong.”

Kirsten pried away from him. “What? No. No, Cameron, you do understand what this means, right? You do realize that being drafted means that you go into training and go to war and fight against your will and face potential death, right? You realize that you might not come back? You realize how hard it’ll be for me to imagine you going and some stranger coming to my house and getting told you got killed in the line of fire? This doesn’t just affect you or the program, Cameron. This affects me. It affects me more than what you think.” She breathed heavily, tears falling quickly down her face. She had never felt as much emotion as she did in that single moment.

Cameron wiped her tears away. “I promise, Kirsten, I’ll come back. If I have to go, I’ll be damn sure to get back. You won’t be alone, Kirsten. I won’t leave you alone. I’ll come back. I’ll come back.” He didn’t know what to say, how to comfort her. Kirsten never showed this kind of emotion, so what was he supposed to do?

“You’re not leaving my side until you get deployed, okay?” she demanded. “I am going to get the most out of you, Cameron Goodkin. You’re not leaving me and I’m not leaving you.” And she meant every word she said.

Cameron nodded simply. “I’m okay with that,” he said softly, wiping away the rest of the tears that had fallen on her face. “Trust me.”


	2. Chapter 2

A half hour passed. Kirsten began to fall asleep in Cameron’s arms as he hummed and rocked her. “We should go…” she murmured, forcing herself to wake up.

Cameron nodded, his eyes still closed. “Do you want to go out to dinner?” he asked. “My treat.”

Kirsten nodded and stood up. She looked in the mirror again. Her face was even redder and puffier than before. She groaned as she threw her hair up in a bun. She grabbed Cameron’s hand and squeezed it gently. They walked out to his car slowly, Kirsten ignoring everyone.

Once to the car, Cameron opened the door for her. He started up the car and put on the radio.

“This next one goes out to all those families who have lost loved ones to the war and to all those who are about to go off and protect our country,” the host said before playing the next track.

 _Bridge over Troubled Waters_ by Simon and Garfunkel began to play throughout the car. Kirsten propped her arm on the window edge, resting her head in her hand. She tried her best not to cry. Cameron glanced over to her, grabbing her free hand. “It’s going to be fine, Kirsten,” he promised, driving towards his apartment instead. She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Kirsten…”

“Please, Cameron,” she snapped. “Just…just get us home, okay?”

Cameron nodded. He only lived ten minutes away from the lab, so they arrived after only two songs. The second song that played was _Let It Be_ by The Beatles, another slow, heartbreaking song. Cameron got out of the car and opened up Kirsten’s door. She didn’t move. She stared down at her hands. “Kirsten, come on,” he said softly. She stayed still. He took a deep breath and scooped her up in his arms. He carried her into his apartment, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and her face buried into his shoulders.

He struggled to unlock the door with Kirsten in his arms, but he managed. He walked into his bedroom and rested her down on the bed, tucking her in.

“Cameron?” she whispered, looking up at him.

“Yeah?” he answered.

“Will you stay?”

He smiled weakly and nodded. “Of course.” He crawled into bed with her and held her tightly. “Everything will work out.”

“You keep saying that.”

“Because I think it’s true.”

Kirsten sighed. “Okay.”

***

Kirsten spent the night. She stayed in Cameron’s arms all night long, refusing to let him go.

When morning came, Cameron woke first. He heard the phone ringing in the living room, but he decided against getting up to answer it. He fingered gently through Kirsten’s hair, accidentally waking her up.

She began to stretch out, yawning softly before looking up at Cameron. “Morning…” she mumbled in a hoarse.

“Morning,” he said back. “How’d you sleep?”

She shrugged. “I had a few nightmares,” she admitted. “But it’s okay. I managed.”

“W-what kind of nightmares?” he asked nervously.

She shook her head. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

“I do need to worry about them.” He took a deep breath when Kirsten didn’t say anything. “They were about me, weren’t they?”

Kirsten closed her eyes. “Cameron, you’re going to war. What can you expect?” She nuzzled into his shoulder.

Cameron hugged her tightly. “We don’t know if I’m leaving for sure.”

Kirsten sat up immediately. “No, you’re right. We don’t know for sure. But the chances of you going are pretty damn high. You’re in good health, you’re young, you’re single, you’ve already completed college, there’s next to nothing preventing you from being able to go.”

“Please, Kirsten, don’t give up hope. Nothing is for sure.”

Kirsten took a long, deep breath. “I know. I know.” She fell back onto the pillows. “I can’t lose you Cameron.”

Cameron rolled over so that he was on top of her. “Look…you’re not going to lose me. No matter what happens, I will always, _always_ be with you. Always.”

She swallowed thickly. “I don’t like metaphorical shit. Sure, ‘you’ll always be in my heart.’ But I won’t have _you_.”

Cameron shrugged. “Well, just pretend for a little while that you do believe in metaphorical shit and that my birthday wasn’t called so early. Just pretend that nothing has changed.”

Kirsten nodded. She closed her eyes to try and imagine it. “Okay… Nothing has changed…”

Cameron smiled. “Okay. One thing is about to change. Are you ready?” She nodded. He leaned down and kissed her lips gently while also making it deep and passionate. He cupped her cheek and rubbed his thumb across it.

She kissed back deeply, placing her hands on his shoulders to pull him closer. The kiss lasted only a few moments, but they were some of the best moments either of them experienced. Kirsten took a deep breath. “I like that change…” she murmured, slightly smiling.

Cameron nodded, pecking her lips again. “Yeah. I don’t want to go without you knowing how much I love you, Kirsten.”

“I want you to know that…even though I don’t understand emotions and feelings like everyone else, I think I love you too…” she said softly. “I just wish we had more time…”

“We don’t have to go back into work. We can spend every second together,” he assured.

Kirsten smiled at the thought. “So…would I temporarily move in with you?” she asked, opening her eyes to look at Cameron.

He nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

She nodded back. “I’d like that,” she said before kissing him deeply again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sex scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my beauties. I just want to give warning that this is a sex scene (not very graphic because I'm not very good at writing smut) but I don't want to trigger anyone so here's a little warning c: Enjoy my lovelies!

One could say the two had been dating for two weeks now. If anyone asked them personally, they’d deny it and just say they were “two friends who were about to be separated because of the war and wanted to make every minute count.” Nobody dared to ask them about coming into work. Cameron had just received notice that he was to be deployed to boot camp in a month. Everyone knew it was coming. Luckily Cameron got to stay longer than expected. This was because of the examination of his heart. Unfortunately, heart surgery at the age of ten wasn’t good enough to not send him to war at age twenty-five.

Kirsten had half of her things at his place. She had her own drawer, her own shampoo and body soap, a toothbrush, hairbrush, everything. She spent almost every night at his place. If she wasn’t there, he was at her place. Neither of them was giving up a second.

Tonight was the night, though, that they would do it. They had been wanting to for so long but never got that far. Something would always come up, typically a phone call from work or a knock on the door from Camille and/or Linus.

Tonight, though. Tonight was for them. The door to Cameron’s apartment was locked, glasses of wine were poured, and dinner was prepared earlier. Everything was going to be perfect.

The couple sat at the island in the kitchen to eat. Kirsten sipped on her wine occasionally, but her main focus was on Cameron. She couldn’t stop staring at him. Maybe it was the fact that she knew they would have sex for the first time that night; maybe it was the fact that she knew he would be gone for months within a month; maybe it was the alcohol in the wine. Whatever the reason was, it didn’t matter. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

When she was finally caught, Cameron said, “Is there something on my face?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No, you’re clean. I just…I’m just thinking about how much I’m going to miss you,” she said honestly.

Cameron tilted his head to the side slightly. “C’mon, we’ve got a month. That’s plenty of time for you to not miss me.”

Kirsten shrugged. “I don’t know what time feels like. Once you’re gone, it’ll feel like you’ve been gone forever. I-I don’t know if I can handle that.”

Cameron sighed. “You’ll handle it because you’ll know I’ll be coming back home.”

She tried her best to smile. “Th-that’s enough talk about war. I just want you in your purest form,” she said in a sultry voice.

Cameron couldn’t deny the fact that he was turned on. He finished off his glass of wine before standing up. “Shall we continue this in the bedroom?”

Kirsten finished her glass before taking his hand and nodding. “We shall.”

Cameron guided them in and sat on the edge of the bed. He cupped Kirsten’s cheek to pull her into a kiss, making it deep and loving. His fingers went through her long hair easily.

Kirsten wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. She began to unbutton his flannel shirt, pushing it back over his shoulders. She felt his body, tracing over his scar gently. Feeling the bumps of the scaring tissue made her kiss him deeper. She licked his lips, pleading for more. She didn’t slow down when he allowed her in.

Cameron took his arms out of the sleeves of his shirt and threw it aside before lifting off Kirsten’s top. When she arched her back, he slid his hands under and unhooked her bra. Meanwhile, she was moving her hands down to his waistband. She undid his button and slid his pants down, slowly moving them down. She massaged his hipbones gently before removing his boxers. Cameron slipped his hands under Kirsten’s skirt, not completely surprised at the fact that she was wearing a thong. He slid it down and threw it on the ground. He found the zipped in the back and pulled it down, adding the skirt to the pile of clothes.

The two kissed passionately, making every second count. Kirsten scratched Cameron’s back, definitely leaving noticeable marks. He, however, decided to be a bit immature and give her a hickey on the side of her neck. Kirsten moaned softly, tilting her head to the side so he could have better access. She used her own hands to massage his inner thighs.

The couple knew sleeping together would be frown upon by almost everyone they knew; even if they accepted sex out of wedlock, they were coworkers. Things might get awkward. But it didn’t matter. They loved each other, more than what they could even imagine.

Cameron couldn’t keep up the foreplay too long. He grabbed Kirsten’s legs to spread them apart. It was easier than expected; she simply wrapped the around his waist and encourage him to enter. He moved his lips back to her and kissed her deeply, but he was taken back when she pushed him back. “C-condom…” she panted.

He nodded and reached over for the small packet and handed to Kirsten to which she proceeded to open. She slid it onto his length smoothly, taking the chance to feel him up. That only made them both needier. Cameron couldn’t wait longer. He grabbed Kirsten’s hips and thrusted himself into her, causing her to moan loudly. She pulled his face back down to hers and bit his bottom lip, tugging at it as her hips jerked up.

Cameron teased her for a moment before going all the way in. He slid his right hand up her side and circled her breast before cupping it all. He massaged it gently, grazing his thumb over her hard nipple.

Kirsten breathed heavily against Cameron, moving her lips along his jawbone and leaving small bruises. Her nails dug into his back, feeling some skin peel back at one point. “I-I’m sorry…” she mumbled against him.

“I-it’s fine. It’s nice.” He smiled before kissing her lips. The couple got into their own rhythm. Both of them were virgins; they were each other’s first. Cameron didn’t last too long, but it made no difference to Kirsten. Time didn’t matter. She felt his grip around her torso tighten as he came. They both groaned in pleasure. Kirsten arched her back and let her head fall back while Cameron nipped at her neck. He pulled out slowly and rolled off. He carefully removed the condom and placed it in the small trashcan he kept by the nightstand.

The small distance between them wasn’t kept for long. Kirsten wrapped her arms around Cameron and pulled him close. “I love you so much, Cameron…” she whispered with soft pants coming out.

“I love you, too,” he whispered back, kissing the top of her head. “You’re the best thing in my life.”

She smiled kindly at the comment, kissing his bare chest gently. “You are too.”

They lied there cuddling until slept took over. Kirsten was out first, giving Cameron the chance to admire her. He was going to miss her more than anything. She was his rock; she kept him going in life. Hell, she _gave_ him life. He felt warm moisture fall down his face the longer he thought about his future. He sniffled and kissed the top of Kirsten’s head. “I love you, Kirsten Clark. I’ll marry you as soon as I get back, I promise.”

Kirsten smiled, waking up when she felt Cameron’s breathing becoming uneven. “Okay…” she murmured. “That’s the first thing we’ll do when you get back.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really angsty, heartbreaking chapter if you ask me. I almost cried. I hope I conveyed my thoughts for this well. Enjoy!

Kirsten was the first to wake. She was cradled in Cameron’s arms comfortably. She remembered last night, how wonderful it made her feel. Then she remembered why last night happened, changing her mood entirely. She pressed a gentle kiss to Cameron’s neck before sliding out of bed and into the bathroom.

She turned on the water to the shower, hoping it would warm up quickly. She had her own shampoo, conditioner, and body soap in the shower for times when she slept over. They were placed nicely in one corner with Cameron’s things in the other.

Once the water was warm, she stepped in and turned her back to it. She let the water warm her body, tipping her head back to wet her hair. It felt so nice. As she turned around and wet the front side of her body, the current was being pulled back and another body joined her.

Cameron wrapped his arms around Kirsten’s waist, kissing her neck. She relaxed back into him. “Hey…” she whispered softly.

“Hi,” she answered, kissing his jawbone. “How’d you sleep?”

“Perfectly. You were there next to me; what could be better?”

Kirsten felt his chest bellow as he laughed softly. She smiled and relaxed into his arms even more. “You’re too sweet.”

“Am I? I’m sorry, I’ll start being mean,” he said sarcastically and kiss her cheek.

They stood there with the water washing over them for a while. Kirsten didn’t know how long, but she truly didn’t care. Every second with Cameron was worth it. She eventually reached down for her bottle of shampoo. She turned around and wet her hair some more when Cameron stole the bottle. “You don’t have to be mean, Cameron,” she teased with a smirk.

“Let me wash your hair,” he said simply, opening the bottle and squirting out the shampoo. “Please? I’ll give you a nice massage.”

She shrugged. “Make sure it’s good.” She tilted her head back for Cameron to begin washing. He started at her scalp and work his way down to the ends. He massaged her head like he promised.

As Cameron washed, Kirsten thought. She thought about her father and her grandfather. Both fought in the World Wars. Both didn’t come back the same. Her father went into World War II at the start of the war, age 19. He and her mom were high school sweethearts. They got married immediately after the war ended and didn’t waste time. When Kirsten was born 1948, neither of them thought it could get better.

“You okay, Princess?” Cameron asked, dragging Kirsten out of her thoughts.

“Y-yeah. I think so.”

“What you thinking so hard about?” He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her so she would rinse her hair.

“Nothing important. It doesn’t matter,” she lied. It was important. She knew what would happen to Cameron.

“You wouldn’t be thinking this hard about something if it wasn’t important. And you most certainly wouldn’t have this look on your face.”

Kirsten looked at him with slightly hurt eyes. She wasn’t hurt because of Cameron; it was what Cameron would become. “You won’t return the same. I know you won’t.”

Cameron shrugged loosely. “Yeah, I know. I mean, I’ll have a buzz cut and will be more muscular, but I’ll be the same on the inside.” He knew that’s not what Kirsten meant, but he also knew playing dumb would get her to talk and elaborate.

“Cameron, war…war does things to a person. You’ll see things that nobody else can imagine. You won’t return the same person.”

“I’ll try my best to be the same.”

“Sometimes trying your best isn’t good enough.” She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, fingering gently through his hair. “Y-you know how my father left me after my mother died? Everyone thought I was just a dumb eight-year-old who didn’t know why he was leaving. I knew. I saw him declining ever since I was five. I saw the toll the war took on him.” She paused for a minute, looking into Cameron lively eyes. “That natural optimistic look you have? It’ll fade. It might take a few years, it might take a few months, it might even only take a few days. But it will fade. You won’t be the same, Cameron. You’ll either leave me and everyone you love, or you’ll push everyone you love away until you’re alone.” She pressed their foreheads together. “The scariest thing is that you might take your own life…”

Cameron wrapped his arms tightly around Kirsten. “That’s not going to happen. I’ll never leave you. We’ll get married, we’ll have kids, and I’ll be by your side every minute.”

Kirsten scoffed softly. “That’s what my mother always said my dad said. Same thing with my grandmother. But guess what? My father left and my grandfather killed himself. Those are the outcomes, Cameron. War changes who you are. I was raised with that knowledge.”

Cameron sniffled softly, feeling himself about to cry. “No. No, I won’t let it change me.”

“You can’t control it, no matter how hard you try.” Her fingers ran through his damp hair, knowing she would miss that feeling forever. She felt herself about to cry. She gripped the hair tightly. “I’ll be with you every step of the way, trying my best to support you. But my best might not be good enough for you. And I’m so…so sorry.”

Cameron shook his head. “I’ll survive. I’ll survive, and I’ll come home and marry you, and I’ll stand by you every day, and I’ll help raise our kids, and I’ll make sure everything works out. I won’t walk out on you, Kirsten. I won’t…I won’t…” He cupped his hands around her cheeks and pulled her in for a deep kiss, a needy kiss.

She kissed back just as desperately, letting the tears fall. “I love you so much, Cameron,” she mumbled against his lips.

“I won’t leave you,” he promised again.

She nodded just to give him some assurance even though that wasn’t what she believed at all. “I will never leave you either,” she promised. “Now let me wash your hair before it’s gone.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for the long wait. I don't know why it took me so long. I've had this chapter written out in my head for weeks now but finally got it written. Enjoy my loves!

Today was the day. Today was the day Cameron got deployed. He was able to stay in a location near LA, making it a bit easier for everyone. He had one week back at home before he had to go, but now the day had come. He and Kirsten were cuddled in his bed. His hair was gone, he had more muscle, and just overall looked different.

Kirsten nuzzled her face into his neck. “Can we just stay here all day…?” she asked, even though that’s what they had done all week.

“If you want them hunting me down and making my life a living hell,” he answered plainly.

Kirsten sighed heavily. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to go either. But I have to.”

Kirsten nodded and kissed his neck. She looked over to the small alarm clock. “You have to be at the airport in two hours. We should get ready.”

Cameron nodded. He hugged Kirsten tightly before getting out of bed to put on his army uniform. Kirsten watched him in admiration and worry. This could be the last time she ever watched him get ready. This could be the last time she ever saw him. For a person who never understood emotions she could name every single one she was feeling in that moment.

***

They arrived at the airport with a half hour to spare. Kirsten wasn’t leaving Cameron’s side. She refused. She clung to him for dear life. They got to the gate and saw a number of families and couples acting the same way she was. They took a seat in two of the empty chairs. Kirsten rested her head on Cameron’s shoulder, crying softly into the material of his uniform.

Then she began to lecture him about what to do. “Always protect your buddy next to you. Always. In that one moment, he is your best friend and you to protect him just as much as he needs to protect you. Always try to get out of going to the frontline. No matter how much it makes you look like a pussy, do it. It can save your life. Keep a journal as much as you can. It doesn’t matter if you write about your day or not; just keep one to use as a distraction. Use your free time wisely. Always be on guard through the night, but not to the point of which you don’t get enough sleep. Write to me whenever you can. If you’re ever able to call, call. I’ll always pick up, even if it’s two in the morning. Don’t be afraid to cry once in a while. You’re going to make some friends and then lose them. Do not, no matter what, start to feel like it should have been you, not them. That’s the point where you go and do stupid things. Don’t do it, Cameron. I’m begging you, please don’t.” She took a deep, shaky breath and squeezed his hand tightly. “Keep yourself and your buddy safe. That’s it.”

Cameron reach over the awkward armrests and pulled Kirsten into his lap. “Okay. Okay, shh, it’s okay. I promise I’ll be safe. I swear I’ll write you, I’ll keep a journal, and I won’t feel guilty. That sound right, Ace?”

Kirsten nodded. The boarding call went over the intercom. Kirsten pushed herself off Cameron and helped him stand. She then wrapped her arms tightly around him and cried. The boarding call was announced early for goodbyes.

“I’m going to be okay, Stretch,” Cameron whispered. Kirsten nodded in his chest. He pulled away and cupped her cheeks. “We’re going to get married when I get back, remember?” He reached into his pocket and grabbed a little black box. “I’m going to make it official, okay?” Kirsten smiled slightly and nodded. He slowly bent down to one knee. “Will you marry me, Kirsten Clark?”

Kirsten nodded furiously before leaning down to kiss Cameron in a more than needy manor. The kiss was sloppy and messy, but she didn’t care. Cameron was about to be deployed for nine months and it could quite possibly be their last kiss.

When boarding was called again, she pulled away and rested her forehead against Cameron’s. “I’ll marry you in a heartbeat.” She took the ring out of the box and slid it on her finger. “Promise you’ll come back?”

Cameron nodded. “I’ll be back, I promise.” He kissed her deeply again, lasting much longer than expecting. “It’s going to be fine. You won’t know how long I’ve been gone for.”

“Cameron, that makes it a hell of a lot worse! It’ll feel like you’ve been gone forever!”

Clearly the wrong thing to say. “No. No, no, no, no, Kirsten. I-I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” He pulled her into a tight hug. She sobbed into his chest until final boarding was called. At that point, she pried herself away and kissed Cameron one last time. “I love you,” Cameron whispered against her lips.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, stealing one last kiss before watching him get on the plane.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to just apologize for the long wait. I've had most of this done for a while now, but just never got around to finishing it. I have so many fic ideas floating around in my head right now that I got distracted. I hope you enjoy this!

Six months passed by without Cameron. Six. It was a hard six months on everybody, but especially hard on Kirsten. The stitches became harder and harder as time went on. Kirsten had a hard time focusing on the true mission and things showed up from her own memories and emotions.

One night, it was a Tuesday, she heard the phone ringing. She was bundled up in Cameron’s bed with one of his flannels and boxers while also inhaling another t-shirt of his. Her sleep was getting worse, so much to the point where there were quite a few sleepless nights. She had only received one letter from Cameron even though she wrote close to a hundred. Sure, she didn’t send them all, but it didn’t matter.

The phone only brought her to more nightmares. She reached over and held it up to her ear nervously. It was 2AM.

“Is Ms. Kirsten Clark there?” a firm yet sensitive voice said over the other line.

“This is she,” Kirsten responded. “May I ask who’s speaking?”

“This is Colonel Davis. I have some news about Private Goodkin. Do you have a moment?”

Kirsten’s heart rate spiked. Cameron was dead. This was the phone call she was dreading. She sat up and gripped the phone cord tightly. “Y-yes. Yes, I can talk,” she told him with a shaky voice.

“First off, I want to apologize. I’m sure it’s early in the morning there and I’m disturbing your sleep. But I wanted to tell you this information as soon as possible.”

“Just cut to it,” she said.

“Private Goodkin’s platoon was killed in the line of fire.” There it was. The line Kirsten feared for months now. She squeezed her eyes shut. “He was the only one to survive.”

Her jaw dropped open. She took a deep breath and held onto the cord tighter. “W-what…?” she stammered.

“He was the only one to survive. He was supposed to go out and fight with the rest of platoon, but they needed a doctor to help with some paperwork and analyzing some information. Only a few of his buddies knew he was a neuroscientist, so they volunteered him. He was the lucky one to be stationed elsewhere today. We got news about the platoon about an hour ago. Someone is passing down the information to Goodkin as we speak. Now, Ms. Clark, I wanted to call you and talk to about this because when he comes home, he’s not going to be the same man. We’ll be sending him back sometime next week, three months before his discharge date. This doesn’t ever happen, Ms. Clark. I had to pull some strings to get this to happen, meaning I have somethings to ask you to do.”

Kirsten’s breathing and crying was heavy, not with fear or sadness, but now with guilty joy. “O-okay. I’m listening.”

“I want you to take Goodkin to a psychiatrist as soon as you can. He’s going to be in a rough place when he gets home to you. I’ve been in his shoes and I know that’s part of the reason why I remained enlisted. He’s going to think it’s unfair and that he should’ve been with them. Things will spiral down for him within a couple weeks. I want you to keep a constant eye on him, make sure he tried to get back in the rhythm of his normal life within two months. Drag him out of bed and into work if you have to. That’s truly the only way he’s going to get better. Take him to a therapist at least every other week. Force him to go. It might not seem like it at first, but it will help. Can I trust you to do that?”

Kirsten nodded furiously. “Yes. Yes, I’ll do that. I-is there anything else?” she asked.

“Be waiting for another formal call at some point and a letter in the mail. Both will contain his discharge date and time for pickup at the airport.”

“Okay. Thank you so much.”

“No problem, ma’am. Have a good night.”

“You too.” She hung up the phone and flopped back, beginning to cry. She covered her face with her hands and cried, fearing that Cameron wouldn’t be the same.

After about ten minutes, she got up and put on some of Cameron’s gym clothes to walk to what was now Camille’s house.

***

Camille jumped when she felt another body climbing into her bed. “Jesus, Kirsten!” she nearly yelled, rolling over.

Kirsten stared at the ceiling, face streaked with tears. Camille took notice. “You okay?” she asked as she rolled over.

“Cameron’s coming home early…” she murmured softly.

Camille sat up on an elbow. “What…? Th-that’s good, isn’t it? I mean, he wouldn’t be home for another three months, right? And now he’s coming back!”

Kirsten shook her head. “He’s coming home because the rest of his platoon got killed…” She was gripping the sheets tightly up around her neck. “He’s going to be so fucked up…”

Camille rested her head on the same pillow as Kirsten’s. “No, he’s not. He’s going to be okay.” She pushed some hairs out of Kirsten’s face. “What happened? How did it happen?”

“They needed somebody who would be able to help fill out paperwork. Doctor-y stuff he would know. A buddy of his, I guess, volunteered him and it saved his life. The rest of them went out and got killed. All of them. Cameron was the only one to survive.” She squeezed her eyes shut to prevent from crying some more, but that didn’t happen. The tears only fell faster.

Camille pulled her into her arms. “Shh, it’s okay,” she cooed, fingering through Kirsten’s blonde hair. “He’s coming home. That’s what’s important, right?”

Kirsten shook her head. “No…” she mumbled. “He’s coming home because he managed to survive. H-he’s going to think it’s not fair. He’s going to beat himself up about it. It’s not going to end well, Camille. I just know it won’t end well…”

Camille sighed heavily. “Okay, okay,” she whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Kirsten’s head. “I promise you, we’re all going to be there for him. It’s not going to end poorly, okay?” Kirsten nodded into Camille’s chest. “Okay. Get some rest. We can talk more about it in the morning.” She held Kirsten through the night, making sure she would be okay. She couldn’t even imagine what she was going through. She didn’t get any more sleep for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so sorry for not posting for a while (and not updating this for a MONTH). School has been crazy stressful and college apps aren't too fun either. I took the day off to try and catch up on numerous papers but instead, I caught up on fanfiction. Oh well. Hope you enjoy this (I tried to make it longer).

Kirsten took a cab to the airport. Camille and Linus both wanted to accompany her, but she wouldn’t let them. She wanted to be the first one Cameron saw, the first on he hugged, the first one he thought about, the only one he thought about. Plus, she wasn’t too keen on the idea of them seeing her cry in public.

She got out of the taxi, tipping the driver generously before getting out and walking towards gate 26A. She knew she was there when she saw numerous families and wives waiting there with signs and flowers. Was she supposed to bring flowers? Or make a sign? Shit, now Cameron was going to upset. She didn’t even think about getting him a bouquet or something. She took a deep breath and sat down in one of the hard, plastic chairs. She watched out the window, waiting for the plane to pull in. She checked her watch: 12:27PM. The plane was supposed to land at 12:30. She continued to stare.

Fifteen more minutes passed and no plane came. Families we becoming anxious and the flight directors were trying to calm the crowd. There was some delay on the runway, so the plane was doing loops overhead. That didn’t calm anyone except Kirsten. Knowing that Cameron was so close and in the same country as her eased her mind.

Another ten minutes went by until the plane pulled up. Kirsten’s heart skipped numerous beats as she stood up. Her hands were shaking. All the families and friends crowded the terminal, causing security to get involved and make a path. Kirsten stayed back against the far wall but directly across from the exit. She watched soldiers get off the plane with their duffle bags, smiling and hugging their kids and families. She began to count each one, knowing only forty people fit.

_One…two…three…_

Person after person came off, greeting their families.

_Thirty-one…thirty-two…thirty-three…_

Did Cameron make it back? Was he on this plane? Was she at the wrong gate? She bit her bottom lip hard, hands shaking.

_Thirty-five…thirty-six…thirty-seven._

Number thirty-seven. He was the thirty-seventh person to come off. She let out the breath she was holding and her hands came up to her face, sobs following after.

Cameron smiled as soon as he spotted her. He walked quickly over to her and dropped his duffle halfway to her. Kirsten extended her arms and wrapped them tightly around his neck as he grabbed her back and lifted her up. She cried into his neck, struggling to breathe.

“I’m home, Kirsten. I told you I’d come back,” he whispered softly into her ear. He felt a nod against his neck along with warm, wet tears. He lowered Kirsten back down to the ground and pried her arms off his neck so he could hold her hands. “I’ve missed you so much,” he said softly, wiping her face with his thumbs.

She nodded, squeezing his hands tightly. “I missed you, too. W-when I got that phone call…” She began to cry harder, but Cameron stopped her by kissing her lips. She cupped his cheeks and pulled him in for a deeper kiss. She didn’t care that they were in public; she was desperate. She slid her tongue into his mouth, feeling the familiarity of it. Her hands tried to hold onto his hair but it was gone, so she rested them on his much firmer shoulders.

Moments passed until somebody said, “Goodkin, get a room!”

Cameron pulled away and looked at the guy. “Fuck you, Webster,” he called with a slight grin. He proceeded to kiss Kirsten even deeper, listening to the joking sound of disgust from his friend.

Kirsten, however, pulled away after the voices were gone. “Since when do you curse?” she asked.

Cameron shrugged innocently. “I-I didn’t even realize it…”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. There’s one major change she was going to have to get used to. “I-it’s okay.”

“I’ll try to stop if you want me to,” he offered.

Kirsten shrugged. “Hey, if this is who you are now, don’t worry about it.” She forced a smile. “As long as you don’t curse at our wedding.” She held up her hand and showed him the ring he gave her months ago.

He smiled widely. He looked at his watch. “The courthouse closes at five, right?” Kirsten nodded. “Let’s go.” He kissed her lips as he held her hand and walked over to grab his discarded duffle.

***

The couple arrived at the courthouse an hour later. They didn’t go back home to change; they wanted to get married. They ran up the steps and into the open lobby. Cameron walked Kirsten over to the secretary’s desk, doing all the talking for them. She had them get in line (there were two other military couples with the same idea) and watch the other ceremonies. Kirsten leaned into Cameron. “We’re actually doing this…” she whispered.

He nodded. “I know…”

“Should we call anybody to come? Like Linus or Camille?”

“Only if you want to.”

She thought for a moment. Eloping completely alone sounded so nice. But then again, having their best friends there to see their real marriage would be just as nice.

“They wouldn’t make it in time,” she decided, even though they probably would if they stopped whatever they were doing and came.

Cameron smiled and nodded. “Okay. Then it’s just you and me. It’ll be perfect.”

Kirsten rested her head on his shoulder. “It would be perfect no matter what.” She twisted the ring around her finger nervously. She then reached into her back pocket. “I brought the one I picked out for you. I wasn’t sure if we were actually going to do this or not, but I brought it just in case.”

He smiled, taking the ring to see if it would fit. “We promised that we would get married as soon as I got back. I keep my promises.” He kissed the top of her head gently. “And I have some extra promises for you once we get up there.” He handed Kirsten back the ring as she took hers off to give to him.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“Well…I kind of spent some time writing vows while away,” he said shyly.

Kirsten looked up at him. “Cameron…” she said softly. “B-but I don’t have anything.”

“It’s okay. At our all-inclusive wedding you can add yours.”

Kirsten pecked his lips gently. “I’ll make sure they’re perfect.”

After waiting for another hour, the couple was called up. The minister stood between them. He handed them each a piece of laminated paper that had the vows for them to say. Kirsten went first:

_“Cameron Goodkin, I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband. Before these witnesses, I vow to love you…a-and care for you…as long as we both shall live. I take you, with all your faults and strengths…as I offer myself to you…with all my faults…and strengths. I will help you when you need help. I choose you as the person whom I will spend the rest of my life with.”_

Between each pause was a cry. She wiped the tears away, trying to calm her breathing. She looked at Cameron, thinking about the words she just said and knowing how true they were.

Cameron squeezed her hand gently and gave her a reassuring smile. After saying the same vows, he added:

_“Kirsten Clark, today, tomorrow, and for all the rest of my days, I promise to stand beside you; to dance with you in times of joy; to lift you up in times of sadness; to rejoice with you in times of health; to comfort you in times of illness. I promise to turn to you for solace, for encouragement, and for inspiration; I promise to be faithful and true to you; I promise to shower you with love and affection, for every joyous and blessed day, for the rest of our lives.”_

Kirsten was a mess. If her face wasn’t soaking in tears before, it most certainly was now. Cameron reached up and wiped away the tears. They exchanged rings saying:

_“Come health, happiness, and prosperity, I will stand with you; come illness, trouble, or poverty, I will stand by you. Take this ring as a sign of my love and commitment.”_

The minister nodded and said the confirming words: “By the power invested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

And Cameron didn’t hesitate. He cupped Kirsten’s cheeks and pulled her in close, whispering “I love you” one last time before kissing her. It didn’t last as long as the two hoped because of the growing line of military couples. Cameron laced their hands together and walked them out to a payphone. “Maybe we should call Camille and Linus and tell them what we just did,” he said.

Kirsten smiled and nodded. “I’ll go call Camille, you call Linus.” She got some change out of her purse and handed it to Cameron before going over to the other phone to dial to Camille.

She picked up on the first ring. “Kirsten, is that you?”

Kirsten nodded. “Yeah. Is that how you greet everyone?”

“No, but I haven’t heard from you all day! You told me you would call as soon as you picked up Cameron!”

“We got a bit sidetracked…” She looked over to her new husband with a smile.

“ _Please_ tell me you didn’t do it in at the airport,” Camille said dramatically.

“Gross Camille.” Kirsten rolled her eyes. “No, we just got married.” She gripped the cord tightly.

“You _what_? And you didn’t tell me?!”

“Look, I’m telling you now so we can come over and celebrate. Not just celebrate us getting hitched, but also Cameron being home. So go dig into your liquor supply and put it on ice. We’ll be there in two hours.”

“Kirsten, wait! You can’t just drop this on me!”

“Relax. Cameron’s talking to Linus right now. You can call him and have him help.”

“You should plan your own damn reception! God. You do realize the rest of us know what time feels like, right? That two hours isn’t enough time?”

“Just put some wine, champagne, and beer in a cooler to chill and order some pizza or something. I’m not asking for much.”

Camille inhaled deeply. “Only because you two lovebirds deserve this. You go back to Cameron’s place and sleep together then come over here for seven. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect. See you then.” Kirsten hung up then walked over to Cameron, wrapping her arms around his waist. She listened in on the similar conversation he was having with Linus. She took the phone from him. “Linus? It’s Kirsten. Go over to Camille’s and help her get ready. She already knows what to do. We’ll be there at seven.” She then handed the phone back to Cameron.

There were a few laughs between them as they caught up briefly before she heard the operator asking for more change. “Alright, Linus. I’ve gotta go. Only have so many minutes. We’ll talk more later. Bye,” said Cameron as he hung up the phone. He turned around in Kirsten’s arms and rested his hands on her shoulders. “So, Mrs. Goodkin, what does Camille have planned?”

“Well, Dr. Goodkin, she’s going to have some lovely pizzas and beer for us along with champagne because this is a celebration.” She smiled widely and kissed his nose. “It’s going to be wonderful. Plus we have two hours to kill, and Camille gave me a very good suggestion.”

Cameron laughed. “Let’s get going then.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, and critiques are always welcomed and greatly appreciated.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading loves! xoxo


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